Per usual, we headed over to our dear family friends' home at least an hour late for our annual Italian Christmas feast. God brought this amazing family into our lives many, many years ago (and then He kept bringing them back, over and over, until we just morphed into one giant, happy Italian family). Debbie and Bob have four daughters: Allison, Kristen, Lauren, and Meghan. The three eldest used to babysit my sisters and me when we were little. Meghan (age 20), who is only a year older than my youngest sister, has become like another sister to us over the years. Our families knew of each other when we were younger; Mom and Debbie would smile and chat briefly if they ran into each other at church, but we didn't grow close until 1997 when Kristen was kidnapped. Bob and Debbie spent a great deal of time out in San Francisco (where the crime occurred) after that, and so Meghan, who was only 6 at the time, stayed with us rather often when her parents were out in California. I remember the night I really started considering Meghan as a sister: her parents were out in California and she was staying with us for a few days so that she wouldnt miss school. I was up waaaay past my 7th grade bedtime working on a poetry project, and little Meghan wondered down the stairs, crawled into my lap, and cried. Unfortunately she had lost a dear, wonderful sister, and not that anyone could EVER begin to take her place, I think God gave her three more "non-biological" sisters (Renee, Briana, and myself) to at least be there for hugs and laughter and to help ease the burdens of her grief. Ever since those years our families have been very close. We vacation to Hilton Head and Disney World together, and spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with each other as well.
Last night was no exception, and I couldn't help but marvel at this amazing family a little bit. Losing a loved one is detrimental, but losing a child/sister and never knowing how/who/what/where/when/why has to be completely unbearable. The police/FBI never found anything. How do you possibly pick up and move on without closure? Without ever having your questions answered? Somehow, they have. Allison and Lauren are both incredibly successful, vibrant young women who love their careers and have wonderful, loving men in their lives. Lauren gave birth to Daniel, age 4, three years ago, and he is truly the sweetest, most loving child anyone could ever meet. Meghan is a sophomore in college, taking on new adventures and growing in wisdom far beyond her years. Last night I asked Allison and Lauren if they had a hard time in their early twenties (because my life since graduating college in May '08 has been full of hard-to-learn lessons and probably more tears than I care to admit). Allison then reminded me how important it is to not ever think of the past or the future with longing. She told me that you cannot expect either the past or future to be the best years of your life and emphasized how vital it is to live in the present (something which anyone who knows me even in the slightest bit will attest I struggle deeply with..... well... living in the present and my severe impatience. Clearly, not the best combination of human faults). Allison said to me "right NOW is the best time of my life." I like that. I am far too guilty of holding on to the past and wishing I hadn't let someone go, or holding out for that brighter, glorious future... and somehow I miss out on the "present," that wonderful, albeit sometimes painful, gift in between.
No comments:
Post a Comment